Betrayal

Rebirth

Rebellion

Addict

Destruction

A Dream Devoured

You take my passions by the throat
Step on each thought that I emote
Make me feel like nothing more than some cheap joke
Without mercy, you steal every last desire
And throw it into the raging fire.
How is a mound of ash able to inspire?
Flames dance across your wretched smile
As you watch each dream be defiled
The ritualistic killing of a mind beguiled
I’ve watched myself become undone
As you walk proud thinking that you’ve won
Twirling sinister fingers around a metaphorical gun
That slays those last pieces of hope on which I cling
Your mouth waters as tears of despair start to spring
Like a dog snarling at steak on a string
A misshapen, foul, cruel beast
With your grip tight around the soul on which you feast
Every fiber torn to bits, yet you remain unappeased
Your eyes glitter as you spot your next prey
More dreams and hopes and souls to slay
Leaving what’s left of me to decay

Inescapable

Be my mental menace
Keep demanding I pay penance
Remind me daily of my unforgivable sin
That crawls beneath my olive skin
Sweet iniquity of insanity
Capture what's left of me
Don't let me escape
Allow me comfort in the madness
As I wrap my arms around the sadness
Let it embrace all of me
Until the derangement is all you see
Sticky words with a thousand meanings
Broken dreams and shattered feelings
Somehow seem more real to me
Than this thing you call reality.

Abandoned

Cloud drapped prison
A thousand castles high
Shattered glass slippers
Dancing in the ivory towered sky

No noble prince lays below
To save this damsel in distress
Empty arms grasping empty air
Longing for a warm caress

Where is this missing piece?
Is he lost in the cold night?
A courageous hero
Who won't succumb to fright?

Perhaps he has passed the tower
Time and time again
But never looked up above
To see what the sky may contain

Perhaps he has seen the light
High above his head
And the thought of reaching up so high
Filled his heart with dread

Perhaps he was too weak
To reach among the clouds
Instead leaving her alone
Where solitude often shrouds

So there the princess sits
On her lonesome throne
Fawning over empty space in empty arms
Not knowing she's better off all alone

Checkmate

Helpless, hopless little fuckboys
Using women like they are toys
Asking for endless adoration
Giving nothing more than objectification
Claiming to be some grand romantic
But those simple ways are sycophantic
Thinking themselves masters of "the game"
Oh, what a shame
Playing checkers against minds meant for chess
Needing intellect and finesse
Instead falling as a simple pawn
The queen has moved: game set and won

Black eyed

Black eyes gleaming in the night
A silent murmur, soundless fright
Demons hidden under human skin
Stirred up from a darkness deep within
Seen by none except for those like me
With the sight to see what you could be
A human soul brimmed with rage
Volatile monster in a brittle cage
An empty heart seeking sacrifice
Filling the void despite the price
I bring you into the fold
Pretending not to see the darkness you hold
I carry the key to the gate
That unleashes the madness and the hate
When I try to run, the lock is broken
Darkness unfurls, doors thrown open
There is something inside me,
A raw, intoxicating energy
Too high to be reached,
That causes the demon to be unleashed

Top Shelf

Look at me
and see my beauty
Let your knees go weak
But know my heart is not meant for the meek

Queen

Dance you trickly little fool
Let me use you as a tool
You thought yourself a clever one
But let me show you how its done
Truth is you're just the same
Another player in a different game
You think me a pawn easy to move
But I am the queen with nothing to prove

Pride

There are
Seven deadly sins
But for me
Pride always wins

If you think Im too dumb
To see through
the deception
To the you of you

I say this clearly
Like fresh made glass
If you think that Im stupid
Please kiss my ass

Empty

Giving sincerity
Searching for clarity
Want the reigns to my power
And Let my beauty devour
Yet I just feel the void
Tired of playing coy
Just to be used
By the cruel and the crude

Goddess

I am a goddess
I do not live to serve
I live for passion
I don't thrive on
Insincerity,
On empty attention,
And being used by the weak
I am a goddess
I do not love to please
I love for openness
I thrive on
The spark of two souls,
Honesty, and romance.

Light

It's hard not to want what feels so right
It's hard to find patience for the light
Feeling like Icarus reaching for the sun
But too afraid I'll fade into no one
The darkness has started shrouding all
The brightness fading the further I fall
Fiery fingertips recalling heated memory
A constant reminder of what could be

White Flag.

There is an oppression in obsession

The refusal to let go of what you know
Will hurt you 
It eats you alive everytime
but you survive one cycle
just to start again
You give away your heart
to something that seems so sublime
Because maybe "this time" you'll be wrong
You stand against the tide of truth
Seeming strong, knowing all along
You're going to drown in disappointment
You duel your heart against your mind
Hoping to find the heart the winner
You fight not to the death
But to the pain
Each tortured memory
a drop of blood red rain
Yet you keep on handing it over
Bits of bloody heart
Pulled apart and stapled back together
A few chunks missing here and there
The sight of it too hard to bare
But there it is in your open palm
Hoping someone will come along
With heart shine and gauze
not caring about the cause
only the solution to your heartache
But when they do, they learn of their mistake
They find your eyes
Still looking at your last demise
Haunted by who came before
but they aren't there anymore
Now they're just another missing piece
that has destroyed your heart shaped masterpiece
an open palm holds your hopes and dreams
but its too tattered and ripped at the seams
for you to bare the thought to share

I am...

I am shattered glass... 

Each shard a reflection
Showing a sharper side to me
A kaleidoscope of colors
Culminating into a
Stained glass built of scars
I am beauty in pain...
Bruises faded by time
Creating a unique rorschach piece
In awe, you stare and wonder
What each whirling section
Means for the whole
I am the broken box of Pandora...
The hope left at the bottom
A hand outstretched in the dark
Burning my fingertips
With shrinking match sticks
So you can see the way
I am the rock in the quicksand...
As you sink you feel me there
And your racing heart beings to soften
Knowing there's a place to land
That will keep you from your
Overwhelming fate.

Scars and Glue

I handed my heart 
to a man 
with rough hands 
one day
And it got so scarred and broken 
That it ran away.
Now I give out empty air
Hoping someone new
Will come along
With hands that are strong
And build a new heart
With a hammer and glue

A 10

I am not a 10. 
I have curves in the wrong place 
I have acne on my face. 
I am not a 10. 
My eyes carry luggage
My heart carries baggage
I am not a 10.
I am plain to the masses
I am strange to the asses
I am not a 10.
My hair doesnt flow
My eyes do not glow.
I am not a 10.
I can make you laugh til you cry
I can make you want to try
I am not a 10.
My smile is perfection
My arms show affection
I am not a 10.
I love hard but with caution
I never let loved ones be forgotten
I am not a 10.
My face may not be ideal
My body may lack appeal.
But I am not a 10.
I am more than some stupid score.
I am someone you can adore.

Reflection

For too long
I would
Snap a photo of
My father's daughter's
pretty painted face
So quick to add a filter
Not wanting to show
The real her
That I wake up to every morning
Covering the scars
And blemishes
To find the  perfect version
Of the perfect "self"
Spent too much time
Not knowing
That truly growing
Means having a life
With no filtered smiles
Growing up
Means throwing out
The fears
That yesteryear's
Brushes
Are your primary colors
Thinking that how others
See the you of you
Holds more value
Than the eyes in the mirror
Being true to who
You have become
Means finding value
In all the versions of you
Now, I  snap a photo
of my father's daughter's
Pretty face
So quick to add a smile
Knowing that I'm still growing
That the face
I see
Is the definition of beauty
Not an empty hunt
for perfection
But the reflection
of hope
Behind warm brown eyes
Beauty isn't
The curvature of
the ideal nose
Or perfect skin
It's being happy with
the body you live in
It's seeing that face
Looking back at you
in the mirror
And have no objection
About your reflection

Choices

What makes you?
What breaks you?
What builds you?
Is it the truth
or the dissolution of lies
you no longer desire to hide?
Now, I am a shattered woman
made whole
through broken pieces
glued together with
Elmers and hope.
Before, I was the girl
lost in the tall trees of
self hate
trying to negotiate
with other people's opinions
of my soul.
Now, I teach the youth
the truth
that choices
make you
break you
build you
not the untrue
gossip that drips
from someone else's lips.
A single moment can
alter the sands of history
and make opinions of you falter.
Waver like the flame dances
Looking for second chances
with the dark.
But the choices of tomorrow
can snuff out the
Voices of yesterday.

Onomatopoeia

I wrote my hopes and dreams 

On the skin of a balloon

Frail and thin 

Thinking it would make me fly 

So I pinned it to my chest 

And watched it pop. 

Heartbreaker

I've lived and loved and broken hearts

Shredded souls into torn little parts 

I've made promises I knew I couldn't keep 

Launching people's hopes into the deep

Knowing the truth in the vast emptiness 

Knowing the lie in each faded promise

My intent wasn't to bring such pain

But the road to Hell was paved the same

I've felt shame and hate and rage

Been the trapped bird shut in the cage

I've looked at myself and felt only spite

Giving up without so much as a fight

I've fought bloodied and bruised 

Been chewed up, beaten, and used 

Yet I do to others as I've had done to me

Asking for eyes but refusing to see

Lonely Throne

What takes years to grow

Takes moments to burn 

The gift of my affection

Always takes a dreadful turn

Their hearts the frail egg

That sat on the wall

My love the gravity 

Forcing their fall 

There's a reason I lay

In this place all alone 

Because on their broken hopes

Is where I've built my throne 

Depression’s Wheel of Thought

people always wanting change

people always refusing to grow

life became a series of blinding Highs 

and a series of binding lows

we can’t help but feel Shock

when the world lets us down

every moment of air

reminds us how quickly we drown 

smiling children’s faces

get Lost in the night 

the stinky stench of suffering

won’t leave without a fight

kindred spirits chip apart

eroded by the dripping waters of time

things once seemingly Pure

clouded by doubt’s enviable grime 

Love becomes lost 

in the broken bits of emptiness

No matter how hard we seek the light

we get swallowed by darkness

we hold on to the frailty of Hope

praying this time it won’t let go

But deep down we are too aware

that it left us long long ago