Lonely Throne

What takes years to grow

Takes moments to burn 

The gift of my affection

Always takes a dreadful turn

Their hearts the frail egg

That sat on the wall

My love the gravity 

Forcing their fall 

There's a reason I lay

In this place all alone 

Because on their broken hopes

Is where I've built my throne 

Depression’s Wheel of Thought

people always wanting change

people always refusing to grow

life became a series of blinding Highs 

and a series of binding lows

we can’t help but feel Shock

when the world lets us down

every moment of air

reminds us how quickly we drown 

smiling children’s faces

get Lost in the night 

the stinky stench of suffering

won’t leave without a fight

kindred spirits chip apart

eroded by the dripping waters of time

things once seemingly Pure

clouded by doubt’s enviable grime 

Love becomes lost 

in the broken bits of emptiness

No matter how hard we seek the light

we get swallowed by darkness

we hold on to the frailty of Hope

praying this time it won’t let go

But deep down we are too aware

that it left us long long ago

Anxiety

Tingling fingers
Won't stop
Tracing invisible scars
Of memory's nightmares
Feeling like
Fire fueled electric currents
Making pumping blood
thud
Like Thor's hammer
On a copper nail
Currents of fear
Pulling me under
A river of
running tears
That never fall
Just sit on
Braced lids
Each a Humpty Dumpty
Egg
Waiting to feel
The surrender of
Brokenness
Knowing no
Man can piece
The pieces of me
together
No rhyme
No reason
Just the ebb and flow
Of anxiety's seasons

Fate

Fate is a fickle beast

only fools

can try to tame 

we can try to blame

heartbreak

on time and circumstance

on the off chance that

turning clocks will renegotiate 

the loss

but time is only the scribe 

of Fate 

circumstance the pen

that Fate fills with red ink

leaving us to think 

only about the blood pumping 

through shattered veins 

thinking about losses and gains

and pain management 

a whole life spent

hoping Fate will

changes its ways

always truly knowing 

Fate will keep on going

exactly as it always has 

Growing tree.

When you take the time to look

At all the things you took 

For granted

By vision slanted

From heavy expectations

And childlike idealizations 

Of what the world should be

Too blind to see

That there is no rhyme or reasoning

To being

Life is not the destinations 

It's the contemplations

Made during the journey  

The laughter and the worry 

When the night is darkest

When the mean reds are starkest

When the green brings madness

When the blue brings sadness

When the sun is so bright 

All you see is the light 

That is what keeps us spinning 

Not the losing or winning 

When you take the time to look 

At what you took

For granted

The seed of hope is planted

The bud of life reborn

From the ashes of what was torn 

And burned 

But that seed can be turned 

Into the tree that grows each day 

Providing you shade along the way.