- The Forgetting -

Today, I forgot that we were over
and I wondered where you were.
I collapsed within my loneliness
when I was forced to remember.

I still miss the idea of you
that I held in such regard,
and the thought of letting go
has been unbearably hard.

The ache has, somewhat, dulled
but some part of me is lost.
The price of loving you
came at far too high a cost.

Your face is vague and blurred
in certain memories I hold.
Your laugh is slightly muted
as the flow of anecdotes turn cold.

I want to forget you completely
and be free from what you've done,
but by recognizing the pain of us
at least the healing has begun.

- Red Flags -

When the fear of being alone
Is more prevalent
Than the fear of losing
The one you're with
That's a red flag

When you spend more time worrying
About deciphering the truth
Than worrying about
Finding ways to live to the fullest
That's a red flag

When their wants and needs
Always seem to matter more
Than your wants and needs
Which are quickly put to the side
That's a red flag

When their presence is expected
To be more important to you
Than your presence means
To them
That's a red flag

When you find yourself
wondering more about your worth
Than wondering about
What they bring to the table
That's a red flag

When you see more
Red flags
Than you see
Moments of joy
It's time to walk away

- All in Good Time -

We spend so much time
trying to find
someone to fill the void
that we often feel annoyed
by those nosey voices
pointing out that our choices
are going to hurt us in the end
and we will spend
every waking moment
absolutely devoted
to those who bring us pain
because we think there's shame
in being alone
but little do we know
that true love comes when
you've found peace within.

- Grief -

while in the haze of grief
everything tastes a little gray
no matter how bright
the sunbeams high above
there's a layer of ash
that covers every surface
and each passing moment
where the clock ticks by
the sound of the gears
are duller than before

- Pieces of Me -

In my childhood,
I heard my mother's laugh
fill up a room,
so I stole it
and made it my own.
I listened to the endless jokes
that made that laughter roar,
so I stole my father's humor
and made it my own.
I watched my older brother
stand steadfast to protect me,
so I stole his loyalty
and made it my own.
I felt my younger brother's smile
warm every heart,
so I stole his joy
And made it my own.
I saw my grandmothers
look at their families with love,
so I stole the light in their eyes
and made it my own.
I watched my grandfathers
tinker, create, and build,
so I stole their curiosity
and made it my own.
I watched my aunts
and uncles and cousins
overcome hardships
and adversity,
so I stole their bravery
and made it my own.
I met my closest friends
enamored by the comfort
found in their own skin,
so I stole their singularity
and made it my own.
I am a patchwork
made of everything I loved
throughout my childhood,
and I have spent my adulthood
trying to tear it down.