Life's little reminders

Art reflects life and
art comes in many forms
That twinge of memory or pain
Brought from someone else's muse
Can come from
A well timed beat
A LCD screen
A set of bound words
A streaked canvas
They are a reminder that we are
still alive
still human
still moving
And we have miles to go
before we stop

Life Happens

Life happens
So quickly
Too quickly
A blink of an eye separates
That one time in school
When everyone saw your Little Mermaid underwear
From
that one time you ate pizza in the dark
Because electricity powers a house and food powers you
But there was only money for one.

Life happens
So slowly
Too slowly
We chose
what we risk
How we sacrifice
Why we are motivated
And each decision is slowed by a hypothetical tar
We've poured too thickly
Causing travel from question to answer
To take too long.

Life happens
So carelessly
Too carelessly
A single wrong turn
on the right road
And potential crashes
Hope Burns
Like a Salem witch
Wailing her profound innocence
She didn't mean
To turn that guy into a toad
She didn't know
he had a family to feed
But innocence is not dependent on intent

Life happens
So cautiously
Too cautiously
As children we dream
Of why
The world is made for us
As time fades in and out
Those dreams
Become a million flickering stars far out of reach.
We dream of risks untaken
We desire the path untraveled
But we fear to travel on
So the stars fade

Selfish

The selfless ones
Live their whole lives
Giving freely...
Loaning out pieces
Of themselves
Here and there...
An arm to him
An ear for her
A heart for them
Thinking if they give enough
Maybe
They will be enough
But as time fades
They run out of pieces...
Stretched sections
Martyred in the name of
Those they love...
They hold a single piece
Hoping for the chance to
Take for themselves..
For someone who
Will loan arms
To hold again.
Will loan ears
To listen again
Will loan a heart
To feel again
But the selfless
Can be the most selfish
Once you give to them
There can never be enough

The Music

Every time I turn on the radio

I can hear you
All the songs beat
with a rhythmic cacophony
That connects me to your heart
Each lyric a brick
formed from mold of our stories
the melodies are the mortar
holding together the bricks
Pounded together by the beats
All coalescing
to form that long, winding road
that leads me back to you.
I can shut off the radio
But the music plays on

Little Boy Blue

Little Boy Blue got his name not for his sky colored eyes,
but for the blue tinted bruises he wore like a disguise.
Each day that passed in his short little life
was filled with a dark, secret strife. 
Each day was spent being a shield 
against relentless attacks that never seemed to yield.
He spent his life under his father’s control.
Days would pass, taking with it bits of Blue’s soul.
Every drink guzzled would strengthen his father’s fist.
His mother the prey his father just couldn't resist.
She was the target of his father’s fury and hate
When his father’s drunken stupor made him irate.
Blue would hear his mother's painful scream
and go to fight the tyranny of his father’s regime.
Blue would battle for the chance to stand in her place.
So his father would break his spirit along with his face.
His father’s pummeling punch was happily aimed at him.
The anger of his father like a drink filled to the brim,
Spilling out rage without thought or concern,
A fire of cruelty that did nothing but burn.
His entire life was spent like this.
A fight for his mother’s life more so than his. 

Thirteen years had passed since Blue first begged for mercy.
His father felt nothing as he beat him at three.
Now a young man, Blue knew mercy was scarce.
From three to sixteen, Blue’s father was fierce.
Night after night, year after year,
Blue would stand for his mother despite his fear.
But the bluer his skin, the colder his heart became
until there was nothing but sorrow, hate, and shame.
Years of wearing the badges of a worthless existence
Left Blue’s hope and pride far off in the distance.
Three days before Blue’s seventeenth year on the earth,
his father burst through the front door beaming with mirth.
He had traded his wife’s old Belvedere 
for four liters of gin and three cases of beer.
Rage filled up in Blue at his father’s delight
Because it had been said the car was his birth right.
The only glimmer of joy poor Blue could not keep buried
Came from the sight of that car and the freedom it carried.
His father knew what that car meant to son,
and Blue looked for remorse but quickly found none.
“That car was mine!” Blue wildly screamed.
The familiar fire in his father’s eyes quickly teemed.
“Nothing is yours, you stupid boy. 
Everything in this house is mine to destroy!
That includes you and don’t you forget
I take what I want” His father spit. 
The final straw in Blue finally snapped.
He couldn't bare another day of feeling so trapped.
“I've had enough of your abuse and control.
You've taken my hope but I’m taking back my soul”
His father laughed at his son’s ill-conceived mutiny,
believing Blue’s threats worthy of little scrutiny.
But what he didn't know was the secret Blue kept
of the gun he’d hidden under the pillow where he slept.
It had been four years since Blue bought that old gun
hoping the act of using it would go undone.
But, he kept it there in case his father ever went too far.
Now he thought of each faded scar,
and realized his father had long crossed the line.
His thoughts cursing fate’s cruel design
He raced towards his room
and a murderous hate started to bloom.
He grabbed the gun, its weight heavy in his hand.
He marched back towards his father for their final stand.
Blue entered the room and looked in his father’s eyes.
They flashed with fear at the thought of his demise.
But fear quickly melted into a laugh,
the sounds of his glee split Blue’s patience in half.
“What do you think you’re doing, you spineless child?”
His father’s eyes bored into him, mocking and wild.
He looked at his mother all bloody and blue
Knowing that this wasn't something he wanted to do.
“Put the gun down, sweetheart, before someone gets hurt”
His mother pleaded as blood ran down her shirt
With one shaking hand, Blue lifted the gun
“I’m putting an end to all that you've done,”
and Blue pulled the trigger before he could think twice.
but Blue should have listened to his mother’s advice.
She shouted and ran to her husband’s defense.
With the gun’s loud bang, she went down with a wince.
Blue had protected his mother for thirteen long years.
Now he watched her dimming eyes filling with tears.
Her breath slowly faded as blood started to pool,
The tips of her fingers starting to cool.
He dropped to his knees and begged her to stay
Every inch of his body filled with dismay.
She reached up to him, just moments from death.
She whispered “I love you, son” with her final breath.
Then she was gone, leaving him all alone.
Blue looked at his father, his heart now stone.
"You waste of space, what have you done?"
and for a second time, Blue lifted his gun.
Irrational fury overwhelmed Blue,
"She is dead because of you!"
Blue screamed with such force
that for a moment it seemed his father felt some remorse.
"That bitch got everything she deserved!"
His father swung at Blue, but he quickly swerved.
Blue hit his father with the butt of the gun,
and the man grabbed the bruised throat of his young son.
Blue battled his father, fists like flying concrete.
While his mother's body lay motionless at his feet.
In the tangle of blows, the. gun let out a bang
From Blue’s chest a red river sprang.
In the heat of the battle, his father had gotten the gun.
With the pull of the trigger, Blue’s father won.
He would never know a life without fear and hate.
He would never have the chance to find his own fate.
Instead Blue’s death was much like the life he lead,
a blending of hate, sorrow, and dread.
At the sight of his son, Blue’s father ran,
showing the cowardice behind the abusive man.
Blue laid next to his mom and curled her up in his arm,
never again could his father bring her harm.
In his final moments, Blue finally found peace.
Death brought him his freedom, his sweet release.

War and Love

Love is not a fleeting star that falls and fades
It is a well-armed brigade 
That fights the chaos 
Brought from pain and hurt and loss.
When the rest of the world pulls me apart. 
You, my dear, hold my heart

Wonder

I wonder everyday
How I let life get this way
Constantly spinning on bruised toes
Keeping secrets no one else knows
Waiting patiently for my fairy tale to begin
Knowing those words are long lost in the wind

I wonder when
I will find myself again
After years of wandering in the night,
how do I find the sun, if I've lost my own light?
My spark is long dimmed and faded
My edges are scared and jaded.

I wonder why
I have wings but can't fly
Grounded by the weight of life's obligation
Staring up at the sky in weak frustration.
Once elegant wings were clipped long ago
Broken by truths I wish I didn't know.

Broken things

 She always liked to play

With broken things

With torn and tattered toys 

She'd sewn together with strings

She'd tinker with old clocks

That had lost their time

Pulling apart pieces

To see what she'd find 

Cogs and gears with missing parts  

And old rusted chimes

That used to play sweet melodies

During far away times

Those times when things

Still seemed precious and new

But those times never

Seemed to really be true

She knew that time

Broke all things in the end

But every thing broken

Was a chance to mend

Two broken clocks

Could be made into one

 A mixture of pieces could make

Time's damage undone 

For her, Life was a chance 

To fix, tinker, and toy. 

A harmless way to pass the time, 

Until she met the Broken boy. 

There the Broken boy stood 

watching her, all alone

The shattered shell of steel

Hiding what she had known.  

She'd known broken things

All of her life

Every chink in his armor

A story of strife

She reached out to him

And got out her strings

She knew what to do

When she saw broken things

She worked at the armor

A tinker's great pride 

But no matter how much

She continuously tried

She just couldn't mend

his broken shell

It had spent too much time

In the depths of time's hell

Time broke all things

She'd known it was true

But time also loses pieces

And she knew what to do

The shell was hiding 

What he was missing inside

The shattered steel a mask

Of what he wanted to hide 

Emptiness filled him

From years of lost trust

His once beating heart

Now crumbled to dust 

Silence was a comfort 

Being alone hid the truth 

His emptiness a reminder 

Of what he had been through 

He had given his heart

To the master called time

Now each day for him

Was a mountain to climb

Each step weighed down

By his shattered steel

Hoping that his eyes

Wouldn't reveal

But she could see the broken thing

hiding behind those cold eyes

She could see that his armor

Was his dark disguise. 

So she got to work

With scissors and strings

She knew that new pieces

Could fix broken things

She had so little to offer 

Except for one part

So she tore open her chest

And pulled out her heart

She opened his armor

And placed her heart in his chest

Stepping back as it beat

Watching where it now rest

He is still a broken thing

But his eyes shine anew

No longer alone 

Because now she's a broken thing too

My Muse

Baby be my muse
I'll write about sway of your moods
Let ink drip from my finger tips
As I write prose of your lips
Let my words spin their tale
Of a strong beating heart that's hopelessly frail
I'll paint poetry that stretches for miles
Each one noting the sounds of your smiles

All the rest...

If all the rest was silence... 
Would you miss my voice? 
Would you wish you'd held my laughter in your hand? 
Would you hope to hug my cries if given one more chance?

If all the rest were darkness...
Would you miss my face?
Would you wish you could see the blushing of my cheeks? 
Would you hope to watch the day two lives grew into one?

If all the rest were emptiness...
Would you miss my heart?
Would you wish you had felt it's strumming march?
Would you hope to taste the fury of what could have been?

If all the rest were nothing...
Would you miss me?
Would you wish you'd had done more to hold on?
Would you hope to live life twice just to try again?

Words

I’ve got words 

oozing out of my ears
Pages of dilapidated fears
And faded daydreams
and muted screams
Scribbled franticly
Each word a broken memory
hammered to the walls of my brain
like old photographs
Frozen faces staring warily
trying to make sense of the insanity
But only finding sadness and anxiety
And more words

My mind is a sheet of musical nonsense
Smudged by black inked fingers
The melody slowly lingers
At the tip of my tongue
Muted by flock of mutated words
Each syllable a beating wing crashing
Like symbols
Words form a beautiful, booming symphony
Drowning the sound of normalcy
Until all that’s left is oddity

My head is a forest of
Imagery and metaphors
And bitter irony
Hyperbole of moons long ago
Words that ebb and flow
Like the tide
As it runs from the storm
Words swim around like sharks
Smelling blood
Eating away at reality
Leaving little slivers of rationality
Twisted up in poetry

These words accumulate
To create my existence
A current of creativity
That spins me constantly
Until my fingertips itch with electricity
A maddening mind
Crumbling at the attempt
To hold all the words in
Always lost in the question:
Why?
But never able to find the answer
As it hides
Behind lost corridors
Full of dusty, forgotten stories

My mind is an open book
Full of blank pages
And crumpled half written sheets
Always left incomplete
Scribbles and doodles
Crowd the corners
Those perfect words always
Just out of reach
Trapped behind book shelves
And old photographs

I dream of days
Where I can tame
The words that keep falling
Cascading like water
calling for the Peace
at the bottom of their journey
They drip from my ears
Forming whispered fears
And silver lined day dreams
And screams of joy
And fits of laughter
They stream from my finger tips
Like a beautiful disaster
Never knowing how to
Push the brakes
Instead just pushing past mistakes
Expecting to clean them up later
Until all that you can see
Is red ink and insecurity.

I tried to temper the absurdity
But that just isn't me
Control comes with a cost
And words are too wild
To be treated like a child
The harder I tried
To control them
The quicker they’d fade
Like a heart betrayed
They ran from my clenched fingers
Control means losing me
To the façade
Of sanity
I’d rather hold on to my creativity.
With lose fingers
and an open mind
In hopes that I find
The answer to that question.

Digital Humans

We live somewhere between 
Shattered hopes and broken dreams
"One days" ripped at the seams.
By the onslaught of digital opinions
Defacing hopes as pathetic tropes 
Reminding you of your lack of originality 
“Someday” seems like it up and left
Those dreams bereft of sustenance.
When #thatgirl did it 'like' forty times already
That future reverie now suddenly seems unsteady.

Nightmares trapped
in a daydream's clothing
A mellow glowing
non-reality that seemed so soothing
Until the screams start booming
Ringing in your head like Quasimodo's bells
Each scream vibrates with loaded
trolling commentary
Reminding you of
Failures, losses, being broken
All those things you wanted left unspoken

Those faceless voices
start controlling you
Until you lose yourself completely
Nothing left but
the skin of what you used to be.
Just a soulless, hopeless profile picture
Of what you want them to see.
Just skin and empty eyes and tragedy.
Lost in harsh reality

We live on fragments of choppy memories,
digitally remastered stories,
and long lost glories
of a time some other us used to live.
We die crossing ravenous waters
Crashing Waves
of insecurity, humility, morality.
Staying afloat on a boat built from HTML coding

The weak’s only defense
Against their own fading human mind
Is to find someone else to make weaker
Building strength with digital jousting
Shots fired with each ping
Every notification
a violation of privacy, decency, humanity
Worth dictated by
Double taps and profile likes won
Instead of good deeds done
Words holding more weight
Than action can negotiate.

The rest of us
Unable to wage the war
Against our fading minds
And cyber expectations
Just hold on
To those shattered dreams
And broken hopes
Before we choke
On our total lack of electronic existence
And resistance to being seen
as nothing more
Than a shell of skin
And memories of days we used to live in
Held in time by a post
half lived, half lost
Behind the frosted tint of lenses

Here and there

 Here
Inside my mind 
I am naturally controlled
Manipulated by strings 
held
With nimble fingers
Open and willing to be
what and when and how ever
I'm needed
Here
I will bend to the will of those pieces of me
So vital
Let them take over
And harness the me of me so often left
Unheard, unseen

But
through the open door
And
Across the threshold
I Shatter into another
Don't confuse who I am
Here
And who I am out
there

There
I am calculated and careless
Damaged and dauntless
Terrified of the nothingness
But Limited by nothing else
A fractured fragility covered
By duck tape and do overs
There
I am strong willed
The spark igniting
the fire that lights the way
Minimal but pivotal...

But I'm always waiting, hoping, wanting
To be here
Where I can release control
To those nimble fingers
That help me lose my mind

Sunshine and Rain

Some people bring you sunshine; 
some people bring you rain. 

Some are the lightning. 
Brightly burning flashes 
of electric shock 
that leave your eyes glowing. 

Some are the thunder. 
Their mighty roar permeates the air 
like a whip's crack.
They can make hearts skip from fear

Some are the shining sun
The burn so bright that
when they leave
the darkness takes you over.

Some are the white fluffy clouds
On a royal blue day
Light and air
and move with the winds

Thunder may snarl,
but ultimately, it is followed by
a fast striking bolt that
screams nature's wonder

The clouds tumble and flit
And we make much of their shapes
But like the colors of the sky
They are quick to change

Some people bring you sunshine;
some people bring you rain.

My Selfie and Me

My selfie says: What?! 
That teacher is straight goofy
Facial expressions 
Like Monkey D. Luffy

She's the one with the ID
that says "Teacher"
Turns out they are 
The ones teaching her. 

Mrs. Bruce and her babies
At home and at school
Who said being a teacher
Couldn't be cool?

I Am a Force.

I am a force
A storm created by
Nature's fury. 

My eyes look ever upward
But in them, a cloud's reflection 
Streaked with tufts of doubt. 

Yet ever does the wind change
As the sun shines out those clouds
Bringing with its warmth new hope.

I am a force
A storm of quiet songs
And loud ramblings

My feet walk ever onward
Though to where I sometimes forget.
Consumed by daydream's company

But with every thought lost
A new memory is stored
Of fate's triumph and life's great woes

I am a force.
A storm that in its wake
Can change the world.

Charm

I plead with you, love...
Distract me with your charm ...
Take away the worlds weight...
In only the way you can ...

I have written...
thousands of words ...
Formed from the memories...
of passing smiles...

I have stood...
With my head a bit higher...
Because the shock of a gaze
Sent currents of pride

I have smiled ...
In my heart ...
From the whispered sound ...
Of a laugh remembered...

I have dreamed...
And hoped and lived...
At the whim...
of a frail hearts desire

So, I plead with you, love
Distract me with your charm
Make the night a brighter place
With the fire of your eyes.