What is it?

Real Love can never be 

a mistake

We make...

When the chips are down

And there's no one around

Real Love is 

what keeps you going

Keeps you growing stronger..

Even if it cannot last...

Even when it fades into the past...

Even when it is one sided...

Divided unevenly 

cut

Like cheap pizza

If it can be a mistake

That you leave in your wake

If it doesn't mean everything

Than it was never anything. 

http://youtu.be/mdJ6aUB2K4g

I'm just...

I'm just a breaker of things

never able to stop

before I bend the line 

so far it snaps. 

I'm just a ruined soul

that ruins 

perfect things

because I could. 

l'm just a dead king's touch

but it's fools gold 

with nothing but 

a toxic backlash.

I'm just a broken thing

making more

broken things

with no way to fix them. 

I'm just a hurricane

leaving everything 

shattered in

my wake. 

Faded Sandcastles

In my youth, I dreamed of days

when the world would succumb to
my whims and wants and ways,
but with each trip of the moon
that desire for power fades.
Thick ash fog presses down around me
by the cataclysms of life;
the mechanisms of clicking time
and lost rhyme
make strife stick like molasses
to the walls of my memory.
Deliver me back to when
I still wanted to grow up.
I want to go back to before ‘up’ was here, and fear
was only caused by imagination’s monsters.
Now I cry, terrified, as I
watch the old ‘mes’ fade.
Like chalk flowers in the rain,
Time devours all the pieces
of who I used to be,
but how hard can I fight
to save a memory?
All I ever wanted was to grow up.
Now, I’m stuck wanting desperately
to go back down the rabbit hole
of insecurity and frailty
instead of insecurity and responsibility.
But, I don’t have time for
Weakness or meekness
or even moments of true honesty.
Now, it’s just an ever growing list
of dos and don’ts and wants and can’ts
and “Dear god, son, pull up your pants!”
… because that’s a thing I say now…
Not sure how that happened
or when or why.
What happened to those diamonds that lit the sky?
The ones I’d count before I could fall asleep
while I wrapped myself in promises I meant to keep.
Now, they carry on without me
while I worry about
tax exemptions and pensions
and tension in my lower back
and the giant stack of “To be Graded”,
and the faces from the past get more faded.
I fight on to hold on
to the memories of talking trees
whispering to me in the breeze,
but there’s an ever-rising shore line
where butterscotch and skipping rocks
are drowned out by the self-doubt
thrust on you by someone else’s tide,
a wave of pride crashing around
the sandcastles
your grandmother built with you
back when wishes still came true.

The List

I started making a list for you

Of all the things you do,

But as I started compiling

I started realizing

What you do for me

Goes beyond the 1, 2, 3

Of us and we.

You and me

Is all I can and want and hope and see.

Nothing else will ever be

quite as much

As that unreal possibility.

Even after

the broken disaster.

When I look beyond now

And the who and why and how

Of my long term survival.

All I can think is

Who could make me laugh so much?

Bring electricity in a single touch?

Bring a smile from a million nothings?

Making giggles that burst me at the seams?

Where could I possibly go

After I already know

The sound of my heart

beating in someone else's chest?

What other pair of eyes,

Like bright Sunday morning skies,

Would I rather see

Looking up at me?

The way they see that me of me

And make me lose all words and worry,

But mostly words,

Except “I love you”.

.... To let the one go

who made me want to grow. 

To be better

To be smarter

To try harder

And be more

It's the hardest thing 

I’ve ever done before.