Heartbreaker

I've lived and loved and broken hearts

Shredded souls into torn little parts 

I've made promises I knew I couldn't keep 

Launching people's hopes into the deep

Knowing the truth in the vast emptiness 

Knowing the lie in each faded promise

My intent wasn't to bring such pain

But the road to Hell was paved the same

I've felt shame and hate and rage

Been the trapped bird shut in the cage

I've looked at myself and felt only spite

Giving up without so much as a fight

I've fought bloodied and bruised 

Been chewed up, beaten, and used 

Yet I do to others as I've had done to me

Asking for eyes but refusing to see

Lonely Throne

What takes years to grow

Takes moments to burn 

The gift of my affection

Always takes a dreadful turn

Their hearts the frail egg

That sat on the wall

My love the gravity 

Forcing their fall 

There's a reason I lay

In this place all alone 

Because on their broken hopes

Is where I've built my throne 

Depression’s Wheel of Thought

people always wanting change

people always refusing to grow

life became a series of blinding Highs 

and a series of binding lows

we can’t help but feel Shock

when the world lets us down

every moment of air

reminds us how quickly we drown 

smiling children’s faces

get Lost in the night 

the stinky stench of suffering

won’t leave without a fight

kindred spirits chip apart

eroded by the dripping waters of time

things once seemingly Pure

clouded by doubt’s enviable grime 

Love becomes lost 

in the broken bits of emptiness

No matter how hard we seek the light

we get swallowed by darkness

we hold on to the frailty of Hope

praying this time it won’t let go

But deep down we are too aware

that it left us long long ago

Anxiety

Tingling fingers
Won't stop
Tracing invisible scars
Of memory's nightmares
Feeling like
Fire fueled electric currents
Making pumping blood
thud
Like Thor's hammer
On a copper nail
Currents of fear
Pulling me under
A river of
running tears
That never fall
Just sit on
Braced lids
Each a Humpty Dumpty
Egg
Waiting to feel
The surrender of
Brokenness
Knowing no
Man can piece
The pieces of me
together
No rhyme
No reason
Just the ebb and flow
Of anxiety's seasons

Fate

Fate is a fickle beast

only fools

can try to tame 

we can try to blame

heartbreak

on time and circumstance

on the off chance that

turning clocks will renegotiate 

the loss

but time is only the scribe 

of Fate 

circumstance the pen

that Fate fills with red ink

leaving us to think 

only about the blood pumping 

through shattered veins 

thinking about losses and gains

and pain management 

a whole life spent

hoping Fate will

changes its ways

always truly knowing 

Fate will keep on going

exactly as it always has