- Betrayal -

Hurt has a funny taste
that lingers on your tongue
if you let the bitter residue
settle for too long
the acid of betrayal
will twist your palette
changing the sweet temptations
of future joy within you
into a sour version
of what you once were

- Fraud -

People say that I am strong

but they couldn't be more wrong.
They don't see
that parts of me
are barely stitched together.

Trying so hard not to come undone
while becoming someone
I barely recognize.
The storm in my eyes
is one I don't know how to weather.

- A Queen Deposed -

She was a benevolent queen

both good and fair.
She was always quick to love
and always quick to care.

Then one day a treacherous fool
dressed as a mighty king
wandered into her palace
with a great destiny as offering.

Without a second thought
she offered up her throne
believing she had found her dream
and wouldn't have to rule alone.

As time passed, she slowly faded
And his power took control.
Giving him her heart and light
slowly took its toll.

She didn't see her castle breaking,
blinded by his immaculate deception
Only when his true nature was revealed
did she find strength in her own perfection.

- Loss -

I'm trying to remember

what exactly did I lose?
Was it the feeling of being used?
The hours of Exposition.
The endless explanations
As to why you were
always disconnected?
You were always one foot in
and one foot out.
Did I enjoy the consistency
of being filled with doubt?
What exactly do I miss?
A man who saw no shame
in using others like a piece in a game.
Taking every dime to my name.
Robbing me of time I can't have back.
I can't figure out what it is
that I yearn for so badly.
Was it the constant bouts of concern?
Always twisted up in knots
trying to discern why I wasn't enough?
Was it how I was always so alone
even as you laid beside me?
Was it the worry that my home
couldn't keep you grounded
no matter how much I spent surrounded
by everything I thought you wanted?
Do I miss the constant insecurity
that stemmed from your absence?
Maybe I just miss the parts of me
I let you have for free
Perhaps I crave the parts of my heart
I gave away to someone
who didn't have the right
to know their fervor.
I should have saved that intensity
for someone who deserved me.
I think I've figured it out.
The truth is that I don't really miss you.
I miss the me I was trying to be
in the name of us.

- No Control -

I find myself so wildly angry

for still being hungry for you
having to constantly
remind my own mind
that you did so much more
than just betray me
but completely slayed
a faux masterpiece you created
I find myself commiserating
how much time I spend hating
that I'm still missing you
and wishing you were here
to celebrate my wins or pick me up
when the winds knock me down again
I'd cut out parts of myself
with a knife forged in lies
just to keep the idea of you alive
instead of the shattered pieces of us
those scattered shards surrounding me
eviscerating the dream
that kept me grounded for too long